hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Enjoy the penises
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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