yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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