he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
