ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
