benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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