i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
