Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
