We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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