i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
