Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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