Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
