when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
