Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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