You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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