I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
