So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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