I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize