we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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