Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
