I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize