the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
