My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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