I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
