I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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