love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
