Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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