We won't sleep together?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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