He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Randomize
