Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
as a side note pls kill me
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
