Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
