That's intense
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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