He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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