i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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