For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
