Your tits are I can't wait for
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
