there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
