Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
