Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
