How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just threw up on my dentist
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
