I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
