I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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