Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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