so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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