He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
