69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
