Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
