Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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