the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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