wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
