weddingsv make me drug and hornr
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
