Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
