the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
