Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
