There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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