My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
