i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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