So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I can't trust your balls anymore.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
