dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I love you. Go after that dick
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
