She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The beer is more important than you right now.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You were trust falling into bushes
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize