Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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