Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
