She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
no, he came in my armpit
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize