Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
