Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
