rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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