I am puke
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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