hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
