There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
