You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
