yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
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