My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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