ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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