when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
