well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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